Stranger Than Paradise

I want to talk at this moment at 1.30 am about my father. For many months he has been in the hospital for a variety of complications. He went to the hospital in August for an arterial aneurysm operation. He got through that operation but experienced a whole gamut of complications that ended him back in intensive care twice. He has not left intensive care since the middle of November. I am feeling very sad today. He seems so weak and it both scares me and troubles me at the same time. Every time it seems like he'll slip away he turns around and seems to improve. Then a few weeks he gets knocked down by an infection or some complication. You can only take so much of seeing him like this before you wonder if he'll ever leave the hospital and if he does if he'll ever have a normal life again (it's that serious and has been for a long time). At the moment I feel like unplugging the phone, turning off the lights and just listening to silence (this is why I have no music on tonight). I keep asking why he never seems to get better. He's so thin it's scary, because he's been lying in bed literally for months. This ain't no paradise for anyone. This is not how I want to remember him. I want to see him go home, happy healthy and full of life not dwindling on the edge for his very life. This battle is far from over but we're all pretty tired of fighting. But tomorrow's another day and he's beaten the odds so many times already why shouldn't we expect it again. I dunno what to say. Today was not a great one.