Stranger Than Paradise

Friday nite

Physical State: tired, weary, scotch seeping in
Mental State: murky, pissed at loser neighbours then happy
Music: soon to be Boards of Canada - Twoism
Fashion sense: white shirt, jeans

Hey Johnny Kehoe sent me a birthday present of Boards of Canada's "Twoism", yes guy! Love the Boards. I'll be listening to this quite awhile this weekend. Nice of you to remember there man! Garry Dudley aka the fuckhead downstairs and his shrew of a wife are driving me insane at the moment. Here's hoping that I win the Super 7 so I can move outta here, then buy this building and then kick those idiots the f**k out. I'm sure it wouldn't be a great investment to buy this building but seeing them outta here would be good though. I could use the cash (especially since the two - three week gig I was going to have just fell through when the designer decided she could stay a little while still at her placement...damn!) Ah I'm sure that something will turn up. I saw an ad for some full-time work at Aboveground a funky art supply store. I really want to start painting again. I think they probably pay pretty badly though so who knows.

Friday

Physical State: awake at 7 (went to sleep at 2, so sleepy)
Mental State: wide-awake shakey
Music: no music at on-site freelance job (thank god they don't have K-Lite on their radio this time, aka K-Shite)
Fashion sense: denim shirt, black pants, the cool shoes

So I'm working today in Burlington at AIC (a mutual fund company). I did some work for them before and they called me in to help because one guy will be away. Tomorrow's my b-day (bidet?) and I'll be 34. Went with Wendy to see this documentary called Standing In the Shadows of Motown. I thought it was just ok, I wasn't blown away by it. They don't really go into detail about the musicians personal lives and I think that that was the thing that was missing from the movie. Its too generalized and there are too many performances of classic songs (more than half the movie is perfomances of classic Motown songs by some people who put their own twist on the classic songs). I think that one on Stax records would be a great doc. This is something that would be interesting to watch on Bravo but I don't know if I'd pay to see it again. No Good Morning Miami last night so no Constance Zimmer :-(

Ok how come they haven't made a film version of Love & Rockets yet? I was wondering that the other day. I think that Terry Zwigoff would be a good director for that after seeing Ghost World a few times. Now the question is who would be Maggie and Hopey (Shannyn Sossamon comes to mind as Hopey). Just think of the soundtrack! The other thing that I think would make an interesting movie is The Exes by Pagan Kennedy. Kind of like a much better version of silly "Satisfaction" with Justine Bateman (so funny to find out that the guitarist in the movie is Britta Philips from Luna all these years later). Where is Justine Bateman these days? You never see her anymore.

Spoke too soon. That woman turned on K-SHITE ("K-Lite FM Hamilton's great soft-rock alternative") and they're playing Phil Collins...ARRRRGH! This is the kind of radio programming that sucks your lifeforce slowly, they should call it everywhere USA radio station. "Just give me some of that goddammed rock 'n' roll, the kind of stuff that don't save souls".

Ok back to it. Later peeps.

Thursday

Physical State: warm, sore neck (is it possible to sleep while standing on your head I must have)
Mental State: cloudy
Music: Guitar - Sunkissed
Fashion sense: polar fleece, hair in need of a cut

I got a call from Matt over at Soundscapes and he told me that I won a $25 gift certificate for their best of the year compilation contest. Here's what appeared on the cd (for those people who want to know).

Steven's Best of 2002

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Miles Away
The Gossip - Ain't It The Truth
Liars - Mr Your On Fire Mr
Mclusky - Collagen Rock
Cato Salsa Experience - Albert Bones Electric Meal
Interpol - Say Hello To Angels
Sleater-Kinney - Combat Rock
Comet Gain - The Kids At The Club
Young And Sexy - The City You Live In Is Ugly
P:ano - All of November, Most of October
Low - In the Drugs
Tom Waits - Everything Goes To Hell
Neko Case - Runnin' Out Of Fools
Picastro - Winter Notes
Boards Of Canada - Music Is Math
Do Make Say Think - Soul And Onward
Enon - Disposable Parts
The Notwist - Pilot
Ladytron - Flicking Your Switch
Múm - Green Grass Of Tunnel

I didn't win the big prize of $75 but it's ok, any bit helps. I think I'll be picking up the new Cat Power album with that certificate. I'm kind of disappointed in Matador Records. I've been running the mailing list after Babak left for a few years now and I have made it known to Matador on several occasions. Yet they never write me back when I ask for publicity information about Chan (nor send me promo copies of her new cd!). I guess if you're not a radio station (we don't even want to talk about what's not happening with Invisible Radio anymore) you can't get promos. But hey I'm the biggest (ok one of) Cat Power fans, you think they'd send me one. Whatever. Joanne sent me a few cds (one of her favourite songs, a Loveless mix) but also this album by Guitar called Sunkissed. I think it is quite good and definitely in the Morr Music vein. I wish it were longer though. It's got an interesting mix of MBV/Slowdive guitar done with loops and samples and the girl who sings reminds me at times of Kahimi Karie or a female Cornelius. It also reminds me a lot of Bowery Electric in their good days but far more sunny and light (hence the title Sunkissed no doubt) and less repetitive. I think this chair is definitely not working out here. Maybe that's why my neck is sore today after sitting here for almost 7 hours yesterday to get this brochure done. I think it came together pretty quickly but we'll see if the client likes it.

Blue Tuesday morning

Physical State: awake too soon, sleepy
Mental State: murky
Music: Computer fan
Fashion sense: blue sweatpants, ragged blue t-shirt

So I woke up a lot earlier than I wanted to and it wasn't for the usual reason of hearing the morons downstairs. I guess I've got a lot on my mind lately with these tax goofs who seem to keep coming back with more outstanding balances, etc. They sent me a form to fill out all my assets so they can "assess" what a suitable payment plan would be (read if they find out what I got then they can take steps to taking it off me if need be). So I'm doing my tax return far in advance and gonna let them choke on that when they see that they'll owe me money this year. Its such penny ante shit that it makes me wonder why this government can't go after things like big banks who owe 100s of thousands of corporate tax. They're just pissed because they didn't get any money off me after my audit. I guess its really time for me to get serious about finding some kind of work. Its been 10 years that I've been doing design, surely that amounts to more than just taking a retail sales job. I look at my portfolio and see some really great things. I wish the market was better for this kind of thing. I told Nancy at the cafe that I should just get a job with CIBC and make a lot a money and then quit next year. I still want to go to Iceland. I can't really do that when I'm so far in debt. One nice thing happened yesterday though, I won $10 from my lottery ticket (something that never happens), so that's cool.

Monday Afternoon

Physical State: rested, okay
Mental State: originally down, but ok now
Music: Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Nocturama (thanks Claire)
Fashion sense: jeans, Key West t-shirt

Ok so JoANNE hasn't written me all day so I think she must be sick. So I got a call from someone who works at the company that made the web application site for CIBC and the guy tells me that they have had problems with macs using the system. Hello its a design job! Do you think anyone who calls themselves a designer is using a pc? So I had to upload a word version of my resume too. I hate word, such a lame tool to design and typeset with. Well here's hoping that my efforts don't fall through the cracks. I probably should have asked for more money on the application but we'll see. Finally got my advance copy of Nick Cave's Nocturama from CK @ totallyradio.com. I love it. Much better than the previous one, more traditional Cave. So why was I down earlier today? I had one of those subconcious bubbles up and you wake up upset dreams. I was telling Ralph (in the dream) how I didn't know how I was going to make ends meet anymore and that I was tired of not working full-time (jeez at all lately it seems). Things have gotta change real soon or its social assistance man.

Feeling much better today. Maybe I'll get to see Frida tomorrow after all.

Sunday Afternoon

Physical State: sore throat, achey
Mental State: foggy
Music: Guitar - Feel Flows Free (from BNW tape)
Fashion sense: white t-shirt

Just found this site out that outlines the INFP personality (pretty on the money for me). Check this out: INFP's.

The guy's wife downstairs is carrying on in her boisterous fatheaded manner again. Must be Sunday. This Guitar track reminds me of a more shimmery and light Bowery Electric.

Sunday Noon

Physical State: congested, weary, dishpanned right hand (from washing dishes)
Mental State: frustrated, bored
Music: Sleater-Kinney - One Beat
Fashion sense: blue adidas sweatpants instead of grey today

So I get this notice in my email from workpolis.com to check out this job at CIBC for a graphic designer. I'm thinking okay, CIBC: big Canadian bank, I've got corporate design experience, they'll pay well, close to home, etc. So I go to the CIBC link to apply for the job, fill out all the skills and information and add my resume to the webpage and then go to enter it into their database and of course the one crucial button on the whole application doesn't work. Of course there's no email or human resources phone number to contact to find out how to apply for the job any other way. Frustrating. I really need to find some work fast because they bills don't pay themselves. Pretty soon I'm going to have to apply for a job at Chapters just so I can stay sane (that is if they're hiring).

I've been trying to learn Macromedia Flash for a little while but the book is so uninspiring (or maybe I like to procrastinate). I'm resigned to spending 3-4 hours at least today to get through it. I'm not going anywhere anyway so...

I thought Jesus' Son was not that great a movie when I watched the tape I made last night. The book was a little better. You can read about it here.

Saturday Evening

Physical State: tired, warm, okay
Mental State: tranquil
Music: Herbert - Bodily Functions
Fashion sense: sweatpants for housecleaning (never worn out of the apartment)

So things are going ok. I think that I slept too much today so around 5 I decided to start cleaning my apartment. I had this stupid notion that if I got rid of some of the dust I'd feel better. Well not sure if that's true but I do feel better than last night. I really hate the guy downstairs. He laughs like Krusty the Clown (apt as he is a clown). They watch stuff like Red Green and they're howling, figures. So pea-brained. I played the Barry 7 connectors cd that Wally gave me. That must have freaked them out with all those bizarro 70's soundtrack songs. People on my catpower list keep arguing over whether "I Don't Blame You" from the new record is about Kurt Cobain. One guy has to be right all the time and everyone's saying who cares. Ha ha. Indeed. The thing that bothers me is that so many people are discussing a song from a record that hasn't even been released yet (?!?).

Saturday Morning

Physical State: sleepy, achy, weary
Mental State: more peaceful
Music: Cat Power - The Covers Record
Fashion sense: dirty glasses are uncool

Feeling a little bit better this morning, not so much pain anymore (although I think I've got a ways to go still). I'm debating whether to go out to the laundromat. Whatever. Boring. So I see that DJ Loveless has added her playlist to her web log. This is great because now I can figure out which songs are appearing where (don't let the RIAA see that, doesn't matter Hilary Rosen's gone gone gone, don't let the door hit you on the way out, beeatch. A perfect example of what's wrong with American business people who crap on others for their own lack of foresight. They probably forced her out because she didn't bleed the "customer" dry enough in the last CARP). They always say you can't let people know what you're going to hear because they might digitally capture the song or burn it to a cd. Oh the horror, the horror. Yeah whatever. So lame. I saw Interpol on Carson Daly last night and they were much better than they were on Letterman. They performed NYC and it was good. Speaking of music I'm trying to decide if I should go see Ladytron or not next month. I think I'll go. What is the deal with anise in sore throat tea, tastes like I'm drinking black licorice, blah!

Early Saturday Morning

Physical State: awake, unsettled, pained
Mental State: frenetic at first now calm
Music: Notwist - Neon Golden (in car ride home)
Fashion sense: Wool hats make your hair flat

So around 11pm I decided this is bullshit, I'm in pain here my sinuses are killing me, this is not a cold. Luckily I live a block away from St. Joes so I went in to their Emergency. I know that you shouldn't go to the Emergency room for something like this but I was trying to sleep and it wasn't working out, I was in pain and there was no way I'm waiting till 11am to go to the clinic. So as I suspected for the past few days its not a cold but yet another sinus infection (second one this year). I'm like a magnet for bronchial traumas and infections and I don't even smoke anymore, not fair. I think that those few bouts with bronchitis years ago are still coming back to haunt me. So I got a prescription, headed in my car to the 24 drug store and now I'm all antibioticed up. Damn apartment. Its so dry all the time. But at least I did something instead of screwing around trying to fool myself it would go away on its own.

Evening

Physical State: sleepy, slightly congested, better
Mental State: passive
Music: Neil Halstead - Sleeping On Roads
Fashion sense: heavy wool sweater, jeans

Samantha Morton is in Jesus' Son (written by Denis Johnson, I really should read that book of his I have) on tomorrow night on Showcase. Never seen that film so I'll check it out. Went shopping, wonder if it was a good idea as I feel a little worse. At least I got outside for the first time in two days. Got a check from my freelance agent therefore have a place to live for another month or more.

Was going to see Frida tonight with Wendy but I'm not up for it. I think I'll go Sunday.

Alison Elliott (where is she now?) and Samantha Morton...discuss.

UPDATE

Physical State: weary, headache, cold feet (still)
Mental State: life passing me by
Music: Orbital - "Brown Album"
Fashion sense: polar fleece, cocooning stylee

No way is that "Breathe" song anywhere near as great as Orbital. I listened to it a few times and have realized that it's like a candy song. You like it at first but then you can't stand it after a few hits of it's sweetness. It's well suited to a tv commercial as its only 30 secs long. Mitsubishi's taking the lead from Volkswagon I guess but they don't pull it off as well. I really find the cute girl popping and locking in the passenger's seat one a bit strange. There is no way those two well-dressed babes would like Barenaked Ladies, they look more the Massive Attack types.

Yeah "Halcyon and On and On" is a great tune, "Breathe" is not. Ain't no Goldfrapp baby.

***

Physical State: lousy, headache, cold feet (literally)
Mental State: weary, foggy
Music: Humidifier drone
Fashion sense: glasses, mismatched socks, schleprock

Ok decided to start this up again. For some reason my other stranger than paradise blog is fucked so I started a new one. New year, new blog. It's been more than two months since I posted but I'm feeling kind of crappy still and I want to kill some time. I think that this blog is a good way to clear my mind of clutter and share it with the world of people fascinated by people's boring lives.

Ok so "Good Morning Miami" is this silly sitcom on NBC. I find that Penny (Constance Zimmer, a Libra of course) is way sexier than Dylan, why is that? Why is it that I'm more attracted to the Bailey Quarters brainy, slightly twisted, quiet indie rock types on tv shows than the beauty queen? Penny looks like she's right out of a rock band, like she could be a member of Sahara Hotnights or something. The show is so lame but I find myself tuning into it now and then. Maybe its the purple streak or the glasses. Who knows.

I figured out that the song "Breathe" on the Mitsubishi car commercial, that's been bugging me to find out more about, is by a French trip-hop band called Télépopmusik from their album "Genetic World". Apparently the album is generally crappy (according to reviews out there) but I find myself getting into this tune even though it is so Wallpaper-ish. Much better than the stupid Barenaked Ladies song we've all heard a million times. It's got a kind of droning repetitive quality that reminds me of Orbital's "Halcyon and On and On".

Here's that quote from Brothers Karamozov that I stole from "Surviving Desire". I reread it and it's amazing how often I read this and find it appropriate.

I believe that you are sincere and good at heart. If you do not attain happiness, always remember that you are on a good path, and try not to leave it. Above all, avoid lies, all lies, especially the lie to yourself. Keep watch on your own lie and examine it every hour, every minute. And avoid contempt, both of others and of yourself: what seems bad to you in yourself is purified by the very fact that you have noticed it in yourself. And avoid fear, though fear is simply the consequence of every lie. Never be frightened at your own faintheartedness in attaining love, and meanwhile do not even be very frightened by your own bad acts. I am sorry that I can not say anything more comforting, for active love is a harsh and fearful thing compared with love in dreams. Love in dreams thirsts for immediate action, quickly performed, and with everyone watching. Indeed, it will go as far as the giving of one's life, provided it does not take long but is soon over, as on stage, and everyone is looking on and praising. Whereas active love is labor and perseverence, and for some people, perhaps, a whole science. But I predict that even in that very moment when you see with horror that despite all your efforts, you not only have not come nearer your goal but seem to have gotten farther from it, at that very moment — I predict this to you — you will suddenly reach your goal...

Father Zosima,
in "The Brothers Karamazov"
by Fyodor Dostoevsky
(Book I, Part Two, Chapter 4)


Its Hopey and Maggie! Love and Rockets I love you.